Sex With No Strings

In today's society of fast moving times, with even faster moving men and women, sex and love do not always mean the same thing. For women, sex has become a tool of empowerment and a growing number of them have embraced this tool as a source of their own pleasure.

Throughout history, scripts were written stating that women should be protective of their sexuality. Sexual contact with men meant relationships and typically commitment.

As women are discovering themselves and their free spirited sexual nature, men are often left confused as to what women want. Learning how to decipher between what is truly an expression of love or just an act of pleasure is key in today's festive scene.

There are three main classifications in which one can place women. In my perception, most women may move through all of these classifications at one time or another, and will tend to end up in one area based on their experiences and idealism of true love.

THREE FOR THREE

The Notcher
The notcher is a woman who seeks to constantly make new dents in her bedpost. She is a woman who seeks pleasure for the sake of pleasure and does not typically become attached. She is into experimentation and gains a great thrill from separating sex from her emotions. This woman, in her truest sense, is rare and usually a short-lived figment of a recent breakup or trauma.

The Transitional
The transitional is a woman who believes she will recognize true love when it falls in her lap. She hasn't found her true love yet, but believes that he exists. She is a woman who isn't afraid to have fun and experiment with different partners in the meantime, but anxiously awaits her ideal partner to complete her life. Sex for her ranges from the need for pleasure to a sense of security with another person.

The Traditionalist
The traditionalist is a woman who only engages in sexual play when she feels that her partner may be "the one" and holds her sexuality in high regard. She is very protective of her body and sees sex and love as going hand in hand. She is often fraught with questions around her sexuality and experiences a great deal of guilt if she indulges in pleasure outside of commitment.

BETWEEN FLING AND RING

The question really is: can women (or men for that matter) have sex without feeling a sense of love? My immediate answer to this question, is "yes -- absolutely." However, as I dive deeper into this question I am fraught with personal experiences and stories of close friends.

These stories tell me that even if a woman wishes not to have a committed relationship with the man she is sleeping with, there is a part of her that will become attached, at least on a physical level.

Research tells us that when two people touch, there is a chemical bond that is formed between them. To further this, when a couple engages in sexual relations, this bond strengthens and can become more difficult to break.

With women, there is often a discrepancy between what the mind and body are saying because women enjoy sex just as much as men, but are sometimes more aware of this attachment they can develop. "Women give sex to get love. Men give love to get sex." However trite this phrase sounds, its accuracy reflects the gender difference in thought process between men and women.

TIMES ARE CHANGING

Having said that, there has never been a time where women have been so free to pursue education, careers and romantic or sexual interests outside the conventional scripts written. Whether she is in a stage of notching, transition or traditionalism, women are faced with more choices than ever before.

With all these new options, the majority of women may move through these different classifications at one point or another. Be clear about your intentions and expectations of the relationship. Ask questions and check in with each other every so often.

By Stephanie Mitelman

FROM : http://www.askmen.com